Inside the Foundation that wants to put a top hat on every American
The founder wants to make one thing clear: this is not about fashion. “It’s about dignity,” she says, adjusting a recipient’s brim by an eighth of an inch.
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The founder wants to make one thing clear: this is not about fashion. “It’s about dignity,” she says, adjusting a recipient’s brim by an eighth of an inch.
The award, presented in a ceremony where every attendee was required to remove their hat and then immediately put it back on, recognizes a year of record distribution.
A new report from the Foundation finds top hat ownership has halved roughly every sixteen years since 1940. Experts we spoke to called the findings “unsurprising” and “please stop calling me.”
We rode along with the Mobile Hat Unit for a day. By noon, we were wearing one. By two, we had learned to tip it.
“Silk where possible. Felt where necessary. Cardboard never.” The Foundation’s fourth principle has divided the industry.
Supporters say the measure would add four inches to new residential doorways. Opponents say they have never been asked about doorways before and are still processing it.
Of twelve participants, all twelve reported feeling “significantly more distinguished.” One reported seeing slightly better out of the left eye.
The Foundation’s winter drive is its most ambitious yet. “A top hat provides almost no warmth,” the founder admits. “It provides something better.”
Staff confirmed the Foundation has been offered fedoras on more than one occasion. Staff confirmed the answer was no.
They train on weekends. They run in formation. They have never lost a hat they could see.